Here are some of the beliefs that guide my work as a life, executive, and leadership coach.
I Believe our identities are shaped through our thoughts and actions. I adhere to the CTI's [http://www.thecoaches.com/why-cti/what-is-co-active] view that our perspectives determine our approach to everything around us. Also, I believe in everyone's access to choice in their lives. Although we have very little control of the situations life gives us, we can choose how we perceive them and react to them. In particular, we can control the way we respond to other people. "The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance." (Victor E. Frankl)
Who we are is linked to our relationships with others. Our attitudes toward others and our interactions with them shape our own goals and achievements. Being aware of where we are coming from, how we see ourselves in relation to others and in our various environments, helps us make the optimal choices in our relationships and achieve our vision of our lives.
When it comes to relationships, I believe that the challenge many people face is that they are not in a relationship with the people in front of them, but rather with the people they wish they were. This leads to disappointment and missed targets. In order for us to achieve our life's goals, we need to see others clearly, for who they are. Like us, other people have their own particular goals and desires. We need to appreciate this, and we need to continuously revise our perceptions.
According to The Leadership Circle, studies of the most successful leaders in organizations in North America have shown that the most important leadership competences are working with vision and purpose, fostering team play, and mentoring others. We can learn from these studies and apply these same competences to people involved in other kinds of relationships, such as those with friends and family. To optimize and develop competencies such as these, people need to know their vision and purpose, and that of their company, team, or family. They need to be aware of how to work with others and how to provide mentoring and development opportunities to others, whether these are colleagues, friends, or family members. To acquire these competencies, people need to be aware of themselves, of what ' hooks' or motivates them, of their strengths and weaknesses. Most importantly, they need to know who they are beyond their immediate circumstances.
Most clients come to coaching because they want to change something, whether because something is wrong or because they want to improve something. While working with my clients to meet their immediate needs by creating positive changes in their lives, I also work with them to enable them to build their lives and create structures that ensure that from now on, most of what they will be concerned with is maintaining those changes. In other words, I aim to "help things go right." (The Arbinger Institute. "The Anatomy of Peace" and "Leadership and Self-deception.")
While I support my clients' process of change by deepening their awareness of their life choices, the clients find ways to solve problems, achieve their goals, and improve their circumstances. "The spirit of a man is constructed out of his choices." (Yalom, Irvin D. "When Nietzsche Wept.")